Archive for ‘braingasms’

November 7, 2012

when my mind takes a break from all the worrying

27.02.2011 Sunday – from my journal

Thought: If I looked like my personality I would look like Brezhnev, all totalitarian, beetle-browed, and responsible for an era of economic stagnation.

02.03.2011 Wednesday evening – from my journal

My hair clip has just sprung open, whacking me on the back of the head. I wonder who I can sue?

Today I updated my status on facebook a few times. I said that M. told me I looked like trailer trash, but I think I look more “Silicon Valley” or dot com.

I also reported that M. has become “mayor” of our local kebab shop, supermarket, and wine bar.

October 27, 2012

Idea for a line of self-help book titles

A new line of book titles brought to you by Happy Bunny Publications: self-help books aimed at helping the people that buy them as gifts for the people that annoy them.

October 26, 2012

message to future me: “You’ve been brainwashed!”


I’ve discovered where you can write letters to your future self.

Why would you write to your future self? What would you write? This is what I asked my students today. These are the sensible answers they came up with:

  • notes from a younger you, reminding you not to make the same mistakes
  • to test the strength and endurance of your convictions over time
  • to remind yourself of the reasons you think/believe something
  • to remember who you were in the past

Nicola suggested you could use it to play tricks on your future self by sending yourself messages like “You’ve been brainwashed!” or “You are actually a man!”

What if you started receiving letters from yourself in the past and you have no recollection of writing them? How weird would that be? What if they were telling you about buried treasure?

October 22, 2012

The most insulting self-help books to give as gifts

22.02.2011 Tuesday

I wonder if there’s a book that would teach S. the social skills she lacks to get on in life? What would I put in a book to help people with no social skills develop them? I ‘ll have to interview myself.

What did I read and do when I was last unemployed and at my most misanthropic? I read the book I got mum for Christmas, “How To Talk To Anyone”, (that she was really insulted I bought for her), “Change your life in 7 days,” “Resistance is Useless,” …  Did I ever manage to read “I’m OK you’re OK”? Dad had a shelf of books like this, “Straight And Crooked Thinking,” “Games People Play.” I bet dad bought them hoping mum would read them. I also did Toastmasters, I went “biodancing”, I read any new-agey crap anyone passed on to me about Bach flowers and equations to do with love. I should make a complete list. I should make a list of books that would be the most insulting to give as gifts.

Here’s an idea for a self-help book for the badly-brought up.

“Were you raised by wolves? A checklist of the things good parents should have taught you.”

October 16, 2012

drunk in Verona


Just had a lovely meal at the Osteria del Duca. My tagliata with a glass of Barolo, M’s polpette di puledro con patate, the Soave, which I’ve discovered is a place, I appreciated every morsel, even the bread which looked like it was going to be rock hard but was soft and doughy inside. At one point M turned to me, after I’d been explaining something to him, and said “You’re face … looks funny.” I think wine, good wine, sometimes has the same effect as ecstasy. People don’t talk about about the mind-altering qualities of wine. Maybe wine should also be evaluated on the quality of the buzz, as well as the nose, the finish, the usual stuff. Actually, I’m to old to know what I’m talking about with ecstasy, but it sounds right.

Margherita is one of the unfortunates for whom wine is poison, like for mum, S and T. I wonder if they’d respond to ecstacy?